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tamaratunie:

"your house will be like your family - only alive"

its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager 

(Source: unsavioured)

alapoet:

the lunar eclipse condensed to 3 seconds, for those of you who had clouds or are in a hurry

fandommember:

benaddictedcumberbabe:

cameronfryesgirlfriend:

cause of death: too shy to call ambulance

Didn’t want to inconvenience anyone

Someone else might have needed it more

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

jungwildeandfree:

thisismedisappearing:

I stubbed my toe and naturally I screamed “mOTHERFUCKER” and then my dad poked his head out of the livingroom and said “you rang?”

hats off for the ultimate dad joke

becomming:

xlizardx:

Apparently this is "The clearest photo of Mercury ever taken."

why isnt everyone getting so excited about this, it is literally another planet look at how beautiful it is stop what your doing and look at how alien like this planet is what is living there oh my god mercury
daddyfuckedme:

is that james deen?!?!

super-wolves:

laugh-til-ya-fart:

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

i’m done with this website

rapewhistled:

she said spank me and i slapped her with the word of the lord


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